“So do not fear, for I am with you; Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you;I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
Today, we are reposting our blog Be The Rock for those who have been assigned to support friends and family members who are either dealing with the overwhelming reality of searching for a missing loved one, or mourning their death. God has assigned you to them for such a time as this, and will equip you to be their rock.
Let’s face it. This situation is tough. Many times, you are not sure what to do, but watching your friend take on the heavy load of searching for their missing loved one isn’t easy. You know they need help, but you are unsure where to begin.
Don’t worry. God has placed you in your friend’s life for such a time as this. You are the help for which they have been praying, and the person they will trust to be with them as they deal with the fact that their loved one is missing.
So, what can you do to be their rock?
Step In: Many times, we wait for an invitation to help those in need. We say, “Call me if you need me,” or “Let me know if there’s anything I can do,” when we should really trade the talk for action. When you see the family caretaker nearly buckling beneath the weight of dealing with the anxiousness, frustration, fear and pain associated with their loved one’s disappearance, step in to help. Clean their house, prepare meals, answer the telephone, do something that will help lighten their burden. Step in, even if you believe what you have to offer is small.
Intercede Through Prayer: Intercessory prayer is one of the most intimate tasks a believer could ever take on mainly because their job is to intercede on behalf of others. Indeed, your role is to take this situation to God, requesting whatever the Holy Spirit places on your heart. In order to do this, you must be in tune with God, and obedient to when He wants you to pray. God chose you to come to the throne on behalf of your friend because you know the details, their inner workings, what they need from Him, and He gives you permission to lay those needs down at the Lord’s feet. Through those intercessory prayers will the comfort of God, the peace of God, and the grace of God come.
Pray With Your Friend: As God instructs, pray with your friend. Sometimes, the offer to be your friend’s prayer partner could be the one connection God uses to keep them afloat. There is power in prayer, and God tells us in Matthew 18:20, “when two or three are gathered in my name, there I will be with them”.
Listen: Most people want to be heard. They want someone to listen to what they have to say knowing the information shared remains confidential. Be available for your friend by listening to their frustrations, their doubts, their fears about their missing loved one. Don’t force them to talk to you. Let it happen naturally. Sometimes, your presence can offer comfort, even if the words don’t come. And PLEASE keep the information to yourself. Nothing tarnishes a relationship faster than loss of trust.
Take Care of YOU:Being the rock can be emotionally draining, and when you are depleted, there’s not much you can do to help. You must make time to replenish yourself so you can provide the assistance your friend will need during their difficult season. Do whatever you can—pray, exercise, eat right—to help you rebuild YOU.
This is going to be one of the most difficult seasons for everyone, but God placed you in your friends’ life because He knew you could handle the burden, could pray your friend through, and would be the perfect person to provide the support so many others would be reluctant to give.
Candance L. Greene is Editor for Black and Missing Foundation, Inc. Her work has been published in several anthologies including Bittersweet: An Anthology of Contemporary Black Women’s Poetry; Brevity: A Journal of Concise Literary Nonfiction; and Fearless Confessions: A Writer’s Guide to Memoir, and the Huffington Post. She is the founder of Cherishedflight Communications, LLC, an editing and writing service. Visit her website at www.cherishedflight.com and follow her on Facebook: cherishedflightcommunications and Twitter @cherishedflight.
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